Self Esteem's Rebecca Taylor on taking her 'Complicated' new album to the West End stage

Self Esteem's Rebecca Taylor is a woman of many layers and talents – a complicated woman, you could say. Starting out as one third of Slow Club, a band of multi-instrumentalists which saw Taylor take a turn on drums, guitar and vocals, she went on to form solo project Self Esteem: an empowering, incendiary pop act.

It was with breakthrough second album, 2021's Prioritise Pleasure, that the world really took note. Through snippets of conversations, presented at times as spoken word – Taylor took the many contradictory things we are told as women, artists, and lovers and underlined their almost preposterous weight, earning herself a Mercury Prize nomination and a top spot on The Guardian's Album of the Year list. After fifteen years of hard graft, she'd finally 'made it' but instead of jumping straight back into the studio, Taylor took her time, swapping sticky gig venues for the West End stage with a highly-lauded stint as Sally Bowles in Cabaret.

For Self Esteem's third album, A Complicated Woman (out this April) Taylor is blending her two loves: theatre and music. Over four dates at London's Duke of York's theatre, she will bring A Complicated Woman to life through an 'ambitious quasi-theatrical experience that harnesses the power and energy of a gig but presents it through a theatrical format'.

We met with Self Esteem, to find out more.

Wallpaper*: What made you want to bring A Complicated Woman to life on the West End Stage?

Self Esteem: 'There's this Peter Gabriel tour from 1994 called Secret World – my dad had a video of it and I used to watch it all the time as a kid – and it's really theatrical. I've always wanted to have theatre meet music, which is not a new idea I know, but in indie land, it is.

When I started Self Esteem, I got so bored of just standing there in bars, singing and playing guitar, pretending you don't want to be there. So I've always had this "Perform like it's the Super Bowl" mentality. I also got fatigued by touring and all the variables. When I did a West End musical, I felt like I could go and go. There were so many people involved in making sure you were alright and could get on stage and do your job. I loved it. That was amazing for my head. So this is a mixture of always wanting to do something like this and being in a place where, after fifteen years, my career is getting going just as I'm getting a bit fed up of working. So I'm trying to find a way to keep me on a stage, basically. It's selfish and also generous.'

W*: The relationship with the audience at a theatre show versus a gig is incredibly different. What do you get from each type of performance?

SE: 'I think to be honest, these shows will end up being quite gig-y in terms of atmosphere and connection. Something I didn't anticipate was by the end of the last album, how crazy the live shows were in terms of transaction. People kept saying it was like church and I'd say, "It's very dangerous. to start telling me it's like church because I will be a perverted cult leader before you know it." But it was this very weird energy exchange. Partly, I'm thinking how do you make that stronger? I got into watching Derren Brown to figure that out. But also, there will be a normal tour as well. I don't make a penny from any of the music, so different ways to see me live is part of another reason to keep me in the game.'

Wallpaper:* What will you take from your time in Cabaret into Self Esteem?

SE: 'I was surprised with how resilient I was and how emotionally, if I wasn't being me, it didn't hurt me as much. Physically I still went through it – at the end I had psoriasis from my head to toe – but it was suffering in a different way. It was nice. I loved the routine, I loved the team: it wasn't only on me for it to be a good show. It was interesting to see what can you achieve when there are a few more boundaries in place.

I've been touring for fifteen years. The idea of finally having a career that's going well but that means I need to tour for the next two years, all across the world. I was like: "Fuck off! I don't want to!" But I've got to – so I'm working out how I make that possible. I did six months of Cabaret and I could have carried on, I loved it, so I'm forensically trying to work out what the differences are. It changed my head about performance and looking after myself. I took it seriously. In Self Esteem, I'm the boss, so if I want to turn up to work tired, I can. I didn't do that with Cabaret. So I need to implement that.'

Cabaret | 2023 West End Trailer: starring Jake Shears and Rebecca Lucy Taylor AKA Self Esteem - YouTube

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W*: I'd imagine, even with the best intentions, there's still a pressure to party and entertain on tour that isn't there with theatre?

SE: 'I've spent my whole career going out against my will, being "rock n' roll" even though I'm not. The West End is so demanding you just can't do that. But it's weird – I've had a demanding live show for years but I've never given myself the respect that I gave to Sally Bowles. A combination of keeping everyone else happy, The West End and turning 38 has made me go, hang on, maybe you don't really want to do any of that shit.'

W*: Do you think audiences are craving more from live performances than they did the past?

SE: 'I remember seeing a Solange show about 10 years ago with beautiful staging and choreography and my mind was blown. I think it's been coming for a while. The other thing is; Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan – these artists weren't part of the global zeitgeist the last time I put out a record. Part of me is like, fuck yeah! All these talented women who have ideas are being listened to and getting budgets and it's amazing. I like that it's becoming the norm. But it's also like: "For fuck's sake, I had that idea!"

Part of me wants to go really big for this album but another part wants to strip it back. Do you remember that show: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? I remember seeing that and it was such a feast for the eyes, I'd never seen make-up or dresses like it. Since then, my eyes feel like they've seen everything. Even the latest Gaga video – I was like, 'meh, it's alright'. It's amazing! But I feel nothing. We've oversaturated all our eyeballs.

So that's the other thing I'm trying to do with this show – it's not necessarily going to be a huge set, or crazy costumes: It's about people and truth. I love performance and I love all the bells and whistles but I do think we are oversaturated so I'll leave it to the girlies with a little more budget than me to do.'

Self Esteem plays The Duke of York's Theatre in London from 16-19 April. Tickets for all shows go on general sale at 10am on 5 February via selfestem.love.

A Complicated Woman will be released on 25 April via Polydor. Pre-order now.